Henry: Gramps, what's your real name?
David: David Nolan.
Henry: But that’s just your Storybrook name. What’s your real name?
David: Oh, Charming.
Henry: No, that’s the nickname Snow gave you.
David: Prince James.
Henry: Wasn’t that your long lost twin brother, whose identity King George forced you to assume?
David: The shephard?
Henry: That isn't a name, it's a title.
Henry: Do you HAVE a name?
David: Not now, Henry, I'm in the middle of an identity crisis.
Mr. Gold: I thing we need to have a bit of a chat.
Mother Superior: And why might that be?
Mr. Gold: I understand there was a certain magic tree with the ability to transport people to this land without magic, which you gave to Snow White and her husband in order to send Miss Swan here.
Mother Superior: That is correct.
Mr. Gold: That’s odd, because when I wanted to get to this world to find my son, you never mentioned any such enchanted shrubs.
Mr. Gold: Now might be a good time to run, dearie.
The American Education system summed up in 4 gifs. While learning math is important, we also need to teach practical every day skills like how to balance a checkbook.
David: People! Ruby didn’t kill anyone! It was-- what’s with the torches?
David: We have flashlights in this world. What is the practical advantage of torches?
David: Who even sells torches here? Did you guys just set chair legs on fire or something?
David : I mean, I get that you all want to be dramatic, but City Hall has already caught fire twice this week. We don’t need additional fire hazards.
Contest I’m entering!
Doctor Whale: Look, seriously, I need you to fix my arm.
Rumpelstiltskin: And why come to me?
Doctor Whale: Well, aside from the fact I'm the only legitimate medical practioner in this hellhole and I can't exactly stitch my own damn arm back on...
Rumpelstiltskin: Oh, wait. What's that you need?
Doctor Whale: ...
Rumpelstiltskin: Say it, dearie.
Doctor Whale: ... but...
Rumpelstiltskin: SAY IT. You want your arm, you'll have to say it.
Doctor Whale: You're not serious...
Rumpelstiltskin: SAY IT BITCH.
Doctor Whale: ... magic is better than science.
Rumpelstiltskin: What was that? I didn't hear you.
Doctor Whale: MAGIC IS AMAZING AND SCIENCE IS FOR NERDS AND LOSERS. Okay? Happy now?
Rumpelstiltskin: Yeah. Lil bit. Here. let me give you a hand. Ohoho!
Doctor Whale: ... i hate magic...
Mary Margaret: Emma, stop talking. Don't tell this woman anything.
Emma: C'mon, she's Regina's mother. Clearly she's a victim too. Maybe she can help us get back to Storybrooke.
Cora: What's Storybrooke.
Emma: The town where we live. Oh, my son Henry's there right now. Well, he's sort of Regina's too. We share.
Mary Margaret: Stop.
Emma: Also, we shared a lover for a time too. That was awkward.
Mary Margaret: Jesus Christ Superstar, Emma, why not hand out our entire history and your social security number while you're at it?
Emma: You know, I’m disappointed.
Mulan: Here we go.
Emma: I’m on a hiking trip with Snow White, Mulan, and Sleeping Beauty, and there hasn’t been a single musical number yet.
Aurora: This is the third time she’s done this.
Emma: It doesn’t even have to be a big one. I’m not asking for 'Be our Guest' or 'Under the Sea'. I’m flexible.
Mary Margaret: You do realize they have no idea what you’re talking about, Emma.
Emma: All I’m saying is there better at least be a musical training montage to tell Henry about or I’m gonna be pissed.